Today Anthony Bourdain committed suicide, and it makes me sad. I only watched a few of his shows, but every time I saw him on TV he brought something special to the world. He’s brought food, people, and destinations to people around the world his legacy will far extend past his short life.
While watching the news I heard numbers like suicide is up 25% and 30% – when I hear those numbers, it doesn’t matter since when or what communities, those are HORRIBLE numbers. That’s the state of our mental health and it doesn’t seem like much is being done about it. For more alarming and disturbing statistics on suicide visit the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention.
We each have to start with ourselves and how we treat each other.
The amazing world of social media has allowed us to connect with more people around the world in faster time. A generation ago they couldn’t imagine the number of people I’ve met around the world and I keep in regular contact with. It’s an amazing time.
But I’ve also run around complete assholes on social media. I’ve had people seek me out to harass me because they think I have a different opinion than them. This week I had a friend in pain post about her pain and someone commented that they were going to block them because of their self-loathing. WHAT? We get behind a computer and forget that the person on the other side is actually a person, just like you and I.
And ya know what, I’ve done it too! I’m not proud to say I’ve done it, but I’ve gotten sucked into the trap and forgot that on the other side of my message is another person. I hope I never do it again because I want people to know they can come to me if they’re feeling down and need help.
So what can you do to help?
Don’t be a jerk. As my Dad used to say, if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.
Be a friend, even to the friends you don’t talk too much. I have a lot of friends who I don’t see or talk to on a regular basis, our lives drifted apart for whatever reason. I know that if I called almost any one of them today and needed help, they would help me without a second thought. I would do the same for them. Be that to other people and make sure they know it.
Know the warning signs of a pending suicide attempt. When I was younger and just learning about mental health I was surprised to learn that there’s often a happy period before they try to kill themselves. Why? Because they know that an end to the pain is coming. The Foundation for Suicide Prevention has an entire list of warning signs.
What do you do when you see the signs or someone reaches out to you. Ask them if they are thinking of killing themselves. I’ll be honest, this seems like the stupidest question, because if someone was going to kill themselves and weren’t seeking help, why would they answer my question honestly? Well, they usually do and the reason is that a suicide is a way to end their pain. It’s not that they want to die, they want to end the pain, give them an alternative.
After that, you have to do the best you can. Call 911, call a suicide hotline for them. Do something, and know that whatever you did was the best you could do. It’s not always going to work because not everyone is in a place to be helped. I can’t count how many times and people I’ve recommended getting professional help and who did nothing with my advice. It makes me sad, but I know I can’t drag them there, that they have to be a willing participant. It doesn’t stop me from recommending it again and offering help where I can. But I also have to accept that it’s their decision, no matter how painful it is.
Be a good steward of your life, be good to the people you do life with, and always remember that you are more – more than what you think, more than what others think and we need you here with us.
Much love,
Crissy