Not too long ago I was researching Resilience for my books and found this fantastic article on the topic in the New Yorker. What’s the article about?

Who is resilient and why?

I feel like this is a little bit like the nature vs nurture argument.

Nature:

Some people are just more resilient, they are born that way. Doesn’t matter their school, their parents, or any other parts of their life. Some people are just born that way – they can separate what is under their control and what is not and that helps them deal with challenges.

Nurture:

How we deal with challenges leads us to nurture. Are we learning techniques to deal with adversity – how to control our vision of what just happened? Do we always find the negative in a situation, or can we find a way to connect it with something more positive? The ability to control your reaction, which can be learned, will help support you during those hard times.

Other Findings – For better or worse

The good news is that if you are not generally resilient, there is still hope. Resilience can come and go for individuals, depending on a variety of factors, particularly the type of adversity they are facing. The resilient person can crumble while the non-resilient person soars through a crisis. It’s amazing.

What gives me hope is that I know that one crisis will feel like nothing and then another one will cut to the core – that’s normal. It doesn’t mean I’m losing myself or that I can’t handle things. It just means this thing is tough for me and I have to work harder to get through it.

I can do that!

And I know you can too!

What is one tip you have for someone going through a tough time?